Winning an argument seems so important to many people. I'm not an exception here. The need to be right may be a very strong drive. But where does it lead us? We would hurt others just to be right. It's just sad. This value system seems a bit twisted.
And I believe, love is the answer. Wishing people well, seeing good things for everybody. I believe, happiness, joy, and kindness are higher values than being right.
Strong emotions cloud our judgements. And whenever I'm highly emotional, I know it's because I'm hurt. However it may look like from outside, inside I'm hurt. And what I need the most at such moments is somebody seeing just how much I'm hurt, wishing me well, even when I'm not being nice to them. I know it would drastically shift my perspective. At an instant.
We are longing for plain human warmth. Happy world is a matter of mastering the skill of seeing good things for everybody. Just as we have mastered the skill of being cynical.
We've evolved past cynicism. We can do better.
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Crucial points:
* The need to be right makes us shitty persons. We would hurt others just not to lose an argument.
* Kindness, wishing people well, seeing good things for everybody, adding joy to interactions are higher values than winning an argument.
* When I feel most righteous, reality is probably wildly different from my description of reality. Strong emotions don't let me think clearly.
* Whenever I'm being highly emotional, I'm being that because I'm hurt. Something is hurting me. Anger, pain, suppressed feelings that I don't know how to deal with.
And at such moments plain human warmth is what I need the most. I need somebody to see just how much I'm hurt. To understand my pain.
* There are many grim scenarios for humanity. But there are also many other ones. Including the world where happiness is the new norm. Where there's no surprise that we are happy. We are just naturally curious about our lives, playing around with our circumstances.
* Winners and losers are just concepts. They served us well, when it was all about survival of the fittest. They served as evolutionary necessity just as many other concepts that are outdated now. But at this point of human evolution, we are the main threat to ourselves.
* Looking at the state of civilization right now, it seems that love is the answer.
* Happy world is a matter of mastering the skill of seeing good things for everybody. Just as we have mastered the skill of being cynical.
* Cynicism is a skill. We have honed it carefully. To survive in this world. To cope with the state of the society. But times have changed. We have evolved past cynicism. We don't need to be cynical anymore. We can do better.
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The guidelines to perceiving my words
I don't want anybody to think that I know better than they do. Here are some of the things I'd love to have known years ago, before starting to consume all the success industry products, psychology, esoteric literature, etc. It's the principles of proper thinking, so that you don't make premature conclusions and don't have unreasonable expectations.
01 — You must be your own biggest authority. You must test for yourself everything you hear from other people, and not accept ideas blindly.
02 — There is no guarantee, that something that works for me a hundred times out of a hundred will work for you. Because it works within my worldview, which is most likely very different from yours.
03 — Every idea I voice is a situational tool, which is designed to work in a specific situation, specific place, specific time, and may not be suitable for your particular situation.
04 — Don't take my words too seriously, I'm not smarter than you, I'm still learning myself. Tomorrow I may come to the conclusion that what I am saying today is complete nonsense.
05 — Shit is inevitable. Life is beautiful.
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Credits
00:10, 05:19 Kindly agreed to film a walk in the center of Moscow — Olya https://instagram.com/o_l_y_a_999?utm_medium=copy_link
00:10 The accordion music by Palle Knudsen https://pixabay.com/users/palle1958-18594144/
03:53 Elon Musk on Joe Rogan Experience https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycPr5-27vSI
05:00 Louise complaining about lack of sarcasm is from hilarious animated series Bob's Burgers.
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